Synopsis:
Announcer Phil MacCracken: Brian was unavailable for comment...
So let's take our continuing coverage to "The Man in the Woods",
Louis Shanksalot. Take it away.
Louis: Thank you, Phil.
I've been watching this up and comer for some time so its about
time that you asked my opinion...
Phil: Uh... Louis,
we don't have a lot of time for your spot, so don't waste it.
Louis: Sorry, well here we go. I've been seeing a lot of
good things come out of Camp Murphy. Though its been a few years
since he had really to play under the conditions that presented
themselves today. You may recall that Myrtle was about the worst
conditions that he had to deal with, yet, he was able to come
up with the victory. But that was '99, this is 2001. We have a
relatively new swing and a redefined short game and course management
skills, so Murphy stopped paying his dues, which like all the
other cocky bastards, got him in trouble and soon he was looking
for me with a fistful of dollars for his back dues...
Phil:
Louis, I won't warn you again.
Louis: Ok, Let's go
to the tape.
Phil: We don't have any. The course wouldn't
let us film it.
Louis: All right, well I'll try to
give you a quick breakdown of the highs and lows.
Front Nine
#1-6
I guess you could say that Brian was a bogey making machine.
Some were missed opportunities while he tried to get the feel
for the green. Many were caused by the sudden extra distance
from his irons. He ended up hitting the ball not just over on
his approach shots but on the wrong side of the green. Most
of his chips ended up having to navigate a green sloping away
from him. He managed to get up and down only once in these 6
holes, but that was for a bogey too.
#7, Par 4, 328 yards
Brian has been trying to play safer shots especially on holes
where there are quite a lot of hazards and penalties for errors.
He took a 6 iron out on the 328 yard par 4 and put it left into
the trees. He only was able to punch it out of the woods and
effectively blocked his third shot to the green which then forced
him to punch again to 100 yards. The approach was short and
he had to chip a ball across a side hill which rolled forever.
Then his par putt rocketed by the hole and he took his 7. I
really got a chuckle out of that one.
#8, Par 5, 587 yards
People pay their dues for me for a reason. Nelson is an example.
He and Brian hit their tee shots into a tiny but well placed
grouping of trees with a hazard in their midst. Nelly's ball
cam out and landed in the middle of the fairway. Brian's was
center of the hazard. I get giddy thinking about it. He had
to a my second favorite penalty, the "unplayable lie". He hit
a nice layup to 195 and hit a perfect approach which left him
with about 35 feet to save par. He missed it and tapped in for
bogey. I really thought I'd get him on this one, but he only
lost a stroke.
Back Nine
#10, Par 5, 519 yards
Here comes the insult to the injury. After the tee shots on
10, it started pouring. Brian hit another "layup" when he really
could have gone for the green. He hit it too far left and thought
that he lost it. So taking a lateral hazard penalty (my 4th
favorite), he dropped and hit a splendid shot to about 6 feet.
Upon walking up, Nelson found his ball and he tried to repeat
the shot, but it was tucked nicely in a depression and he bladed
it into the woods. and had to take another unplayable lie. Go
woods! Its your birthday!
#11
Nothing can destroy a man more than missing a green by about
10 feet and having a bush in your backswing! I love that because
though its not a penalty, you know that the results are just
going to be comedy. Well after a missed approach, Brian took
a swing and the ball trickled out and hit him on the top of
his own shoe! He didn't realize that it was a 2 stroke penalty
(its one of the obscure but most undeniable penalties), but
he ended up with a 7 anyway because of two more duffed chips!
I love this game! After that one, he was looking around for
me and I could see him reach for his wallet.
#12-15
I think I heard Brian say something about getting 2 birdies
and the rest pars from there on in. And after his first par,
I thought that he might have found focus through the rain. He
managed par, bogey, par, bogey, which still showed that he was
hanging in there. Give the boy credit. He doesn't know when
to quit.
#16, Par 5, 540 yards
Like I said, the boy doesn't know when to quit. He pulled his
drive into the woods (thanks for the donation). Then hit a sky
ball. Then hit another sky ball. At this point, he said that
he'd drop one out of the woods, but it was stroke and distance,
so he took his 7 and then played the hole out. I saw his swing
suddenly change, as if his back got tight and it really threw
off his entire swing. I heard him say when he putted his ball
that he took a 12. Damn that equitable stroke control.
#18, Par 4, 420 yards
After scrambling really hard on 17 for a bogey (which included
a skied tee shot, a duffed "don't drive angry" 5 wood and a
launched 9 iron over the green), Brian got up and down for his
bogey. On 18 he just wanted to finish off this round. Nelson
hit a tee shot that hit one of my trees and sent it to the fairway.
Brian hit just about the same tree, and I sent the back backwards
about 30 yards and no shot. Hee hee. He had to punch out, and
then caught the turf with his 6 iron which dribble the ball
to 80 yards. He hit a nice pitch but missed the scramblin' man's
bogey. I have never seen a guy who was happier just to get off
the course.
Parting thoughts
Phil: Thanks Louis, we may not hear from you again, you
sadist. Uh, folks, we have Brian via satellite feed for a couple
of comments. Brian can you hear me?
Brian: Yes, Phil.
Phil: I won't keep you, but can you tell us what happened
out there?
 Brian:
Well, its obvious that this round was a huge "Stromone" from
the start. I was hitting the ball well and trying to adjust
to the course, but I kept getting bad breaks. I really thought
the front nine should have been better, but that's how it goes.
I was woefully unprepared for the intense weather that we had
there. The weathermen just don't know what they are saying.
I mean, I can look out the window and tell you what the weather
is going to be like in an hour. But they said that the rain
had passed and and I just took an optimistic view for the day.
Phil: Do you think that the weather really hurt you out
there?
 Brian:
Well it was a factor, but I think that once the score got away
from me, it was hard to focus and the weather just made it a
little tougher to keep in the groove. I did peel out on a couple
of holes, but I think my back tightened up and it changed everything.
Phil: What will you change out there for next time?
 Brian:
Well, I really need to check out the swing and make sure that
I haven't developed any bad habits. I will be checking it at
the range. I also need to get a better gauge on my middle and
short irons. The distances have really varied and although I
think I am understanding them better, I need to find out how
far I can count on them, which is hard from the mats at the
range. I think that my chipping and putting were really about
as good as they could be under the circumstances, so I am not
too worried about that, and I think that kept me from going
over 100.
Phil: With ROMP just around the corner, how is your confidence?
Brian:
I think I am going to be ok. I usually spend a lot more time
at the range than I have lately and I think its important in
order to get the groove going. I am going to spend a little
more time there and maybe only play one or two rounds before
ROMP, which I think will really help because my thought process
is good out there as well as my course management. It just comes
down to the execution of shots, and I haven't done that as well
as I would have liked. The range will help.
Phil: Well thanks for taking the time to speak with us.
Brian: No problem, please kick Louis' ass for me will
ya?
Phil: We will.
-Until next time,
I'm Phil MacCracken for the Hacker's Network |
